MANHATTAN, NY — Greeting a packed conference room of clients who collectively earned $1.4 billion last year and reported considerably less, Park Avenue wealth advisor Nolan Frost opened his annual tax season briefing Friday by clicking to a single slide that read ‘April 15: Take It Or Leave It,’ before assuring the room that the deadline is now ‘more of a vibe, honestly, like a yield sign in East Hampton.’
Frost, a managing partner at Frost Halloran Wealth, told attendees that with the IRS down roughly a third of its enforcement staff and the agency’s audit division reportedly operating out of ‘whoever’s still answering the phone in Ogden,’ clients should consider this filing season ‘a kind of gentleman’s agreement we are no longer obligated to honor.’
‘Look, I’m not telling you not to file,’ Frost said, sipping a green juice that cost more than the median American refund. ‘I’m telling you the building is empty. You can walk in. You can walk out. Nobody’s at the desk. Whether you leave a tip is between you and your conscience, and I’ve met your consciences.’
The mood in the room was reportedly euphoric. One private equity partner described filing an honest return this year as ‘a kind of performance art piece,’ while another client, a crypto fund manager who has not filed since 2019, asked whether he was legally required to keep pretending the previous six years had happened. Frost told him to ‘just start fresh, like a Peloton.’
The presentation escalated when Frost unveiled what he called the ‘Three Tiers of 2025 Compliance’: Tier One, file accurately; Tier Two, file something; and Tier Three, described on the slide only as a smiling face emoji. He noted that 84% of his clients were already operating at Tier Two and that the firm’s projections for Tier Three adoption were ‘extremely encouraging, assuming current staffing trends at Treasury hold.’
Not all attendees were comfortable. Junior associate Marcus Kim, the firm’s most recent CPA hire, raised his hand to ask whether the strategy carried any long-term legal exposure and was met with what witnesses described as ‘the kind of silence usually reserved for someone bringing up climate change at a yacht christening.’ Frost reportedly thanked Kim for his question, asked the room to give him a round of applause for his ‘rookie energy,’ and then moved on.
Reached for comment, an IRS spokesperson confirmed the agency is ‘absolutely still processing returns’ before a long pause during which a second voice could be heard asking whether anyone had the password to the mainframe. The spokesperson then said she had to take another call and hung up.
Frost concluded the briefing by reminding clients that the firm’s new motto, embroidered on complimentary fleece vests handed out at the door, reads simply: ‘You First.’