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A bustling bank trading floor with red and green market data on monitors and a large fruit gift basket on a trader's desk in the foreground.
Finance

JPMorgan Posts Record Q1 Trading Revenue, Asks Staff to Please Stop Mailing the White House Edible Arrangements

Cody Thompson -
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A glossy investment fund brochure titled 'Real American Energy ETF' on a polished desk beside a small American flag pin and an espresso cup.
Finance

BlackRock’s Sustainable Energy ETF Quietly Rebranded ‘Real American Energy ETF,’ Top Holding Remains Microsoft

Cody Thompson -
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An older man in suspenders holding a wrench and a landline phone in a suburban garage, a half-restored vintage car behind him
Finance

Bond Vigilantes, Dormant Since 1994, Reactivated Tuesday Like a Cold War Sleeper Cell

Cody Thompson -
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An older man at a kitchen table looks at a laptop screen while holding a phone, morning light coming through the window.
Finance

Retiree Who Hadn’t Checked 401(k) Since Christmas Logs In Monday, Has Old Job Back by Noon

Cody Thompson -
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A private equity conference room with a baseball on the table and a slide deck projecting cost-cutting analysis over a baseball diamond diagram
Finance

Private Equity Firm That Bought Stake in MLB Team Holds First Internal Review, Has Several Questions About Why the Bullpen Exists

Cody Thompson -
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A wealth advisor in a fleece vest presents a slide reading 'April 15: Take It Or Leave It' to applauding clients in a Park Avenue conference room.
Finance

Manhattan Wealth Advisor Informs Clients That April 15 Is Now ‘More of a Vibe,’ Like a Yield Sign in East Hampton

Cody Thompson -
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A trader at a Bloomberg terminal refreshing a social media feed on a tablet inside a hedge fund office.
Finance

Stamford Hedge Fund Up 14% This Quarter After Pivoting Entire Strategy to Refreshing Truth Social Every 90 Seconds

Cody Thompson -
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A cavernous government storage facility with industrial pallets labeled with cryptocurrency ticker symbols stacked alongside oil drums under industrial lighting.
Finance

US Strategic Crypto Reserve to Stockpile XRP, Solana, and Cardano Right Next to the Wheat, in Case of National Emergency

Cody Thompson -
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Rows of charred oak bourbon barrels stacked inside a Kentucky distillery warehouse.
Finance

Kentucky Bourbon Distillers Celebrate EU Tariff News for Roughly 90 Seconds, Until Someone Pulls Up a Map

Cody Thompson -
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Workers in hard hats on the floor of a domestic steel mill, surrounded by coils of rolled steel
Finance

Domestic Steel Executives Celebrate 25% Tariff by Immediately Raising Their Own Prices 24%, Just to Be Polite

Cody Thompson -
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