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Silhouettes of two humans staring at eachother, one textured with the US flag, the other with the Chinese flag.
Politics

Congress Shocked to Discover U.S. Telecom Networks Sold to China, Not Hacked

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Jon Stewart posing dramatically next to a picture of Kamala Harris
Celebrities

Jon Stewart Unfiltered: Kamala Harris Talks Curing Cancer, Gay Frogs, and Why America Can’t Handle Her Success

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Bottles of Dr. Pepper
Celebrities

Trump Appoints Dr. Oz to Oversee Medicare, Medicaid After Narrowly Beating Out Dr. Phil and Dr. Pepper

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An image of President Joe Biden and first lady Jill Biden planting a tree
Environment

Biden’s “Go-Green! 🌱” Pardon for Hunter: A Bold Step Toward Environmental Justice

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Russian President Vladimir Putin looking painfully confused
Politics

Putin Reportedly Suffers Stroke After Learning of Trump Re-election, Now Only Speaks Hmong

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Statue of a man and his unicycle
Politics

Dr. Iver Eviscerates “Trenchcoat Summit” as Top Education Leaders Emerge on Unicycle to Announce Absurd New Policy

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The American flag made out of bullets
Featured

United States Declares Independence from Itself, Rebrands as a Business Focused on “Global Burden Solutions”

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